Puttin on my shades.....

dang, where do i begin. its so many different things goin on in my head that I can barely focus. i wanted to first say that since the last blog update (Nov,2010) that ive grown a little in some aspect. but i wont admit to such a thing. my heart, brain and fingers wont collaborate at this instance to produce such a lie for you to receive.....if for no one else but myself (since im the only one who even reads my blogs), I will continue with the truth. BG.

This blog is mainly about the weightloss goals and struggles along the way. So I will attempt to keep it at that. Ive typed multiple paragraphs about things going on, current activities, traveling, etc. but in the end...they are all excuses. One other reason to continue to put weightloss in the background. I find myself at times really loving myself. No, dont get me wrong....thats essential, but I mean loving myself to the point of not carrying that I am seriously overweight and act as though I HAVE to accept where Im at. I catch myself telling myself (as if that makes sense) how, "Im good the way I am"....How, "I shouldnt care" & even how, "Im gonna make it do what it do no matta what" lol, my favorite personal solo convo. But although personal empowerment or sometype of internal esteem building may be good...its based off a lie. Cause at the end of the day its unhealthy.

for now tho, im just gonna see whats up. i have a few things going on and since my bday in december (actually my sisters, who isnt talkin to me now for some strange reason, bday in early decemeber. I partied it up with her and I ate all the deserts at all the eateries that acknowledged her bday) i havent attempted to work out. Im going to get back motivated and get it going. I have sooo many reason as to why I want to do it. For myself primarily but for all the other things I mentioned when I started this blog. When a year anniversary rolled around I wanted to update it again...as I have multiple times. But I feel that not meeting certain goals placed me in such a bad look. Not only did I not reach them....I gave up. I allowed excuses to reign and I never hesitated to just act as if I had forgotten my goal!

All in all Im here again. Reaching a point where I wanna start getting it right. I havent found the perfect receipe but I do know that work is gonna have to be the made ingredient. Ive admitted to being lazy multiple times in the past, but its now time for some work. Ive reached 30. Ive divided my life into chapters and this one is to be titled 'Work'. Im about to make things happen. Im slow to get up to a race that Ive already started times before. But the thing now is that Im not waiting for the dust to settle. Im putting my shades on so nothing will get in my eyes, but I gotta look cool. This time Im gonna put in the work. fa real.

now if i could get over this one thing called procrastination! ugh




Congrats to the Dallas Mavericks, #GOMAVS for their 2011 NBA Championship win. Hate I cant attend the parade tomorrow! Im going to go to the dr and weigh in. lol