I want TACO BELL....& Whose gonna STOP ME!

Ok, so as u can gather so far...I want some taco bell. Im sitting here on the couch flipping past the world series. Rangers, Rangers, Rangers!!! The score is Rangers 4 to SanFrans 8. My friend is sitting here with me telling me to turn from baseball. She says she never understood it and she wants to watch something else. She has to repeat herself a couple of times. My mind was so focused on trying to lose weight that I had drifted off into la la land. wondering what it would be like if had lost some weight. wondering what it will be like if i can lose extra pounds by my birthday. Just wondering. Once she had my attention again, I wondered to myself if she ever thought about food as much as I did.

I really wanna use this 60 day countdown as a way to get back into this more heavily. I want to have a greater impact over the next 2 months leading up to my bday. Starting my 30th off a few pounds lighter. Entering into the New Year already into a new regimen.......with a betterment of health as the longterm goal.

My mind has been racing back and fourth all night about what finding something to eat. No matter how hard I try I just cant get food off my mind. There is nothing I can say or do to escape the thought of tacos or nachos from Taco Bell. Im not even realllllly that hungry. But each time I tell myself I shouldnt go. Each time I tell myself the reasons WHY i shouldnt go, I STILL WANT TO GO. I am literally battling myself on wether or not Im gonna go get Taco Bell and the sad part is I know whats gonna win. Ranger game was interupted by a taco bell commercial! I flipped to VH1's I Love Money and Brittanya has on the tightest and shortest and nicest clothes on, she sooooo fine. She a slip away from being naked!...AND YET ANOTHER TACO BELL COMMERCIAL!!!

Its hard to explain to someone on the outside lookin in. But i understand why its not only a physical...but a true emotional struggle too. for some. mainly cause u have to understand the connection u have with food before u simply try to remove it....or even make big modifications to the habits u currently have with it. u shouldnt eat out of habit. with that being said...now what.....