To walk or NOT to walk........that is the question?!

To Walk....

One step at a time. It hurts sometimes to know that I allow simple things to get in my way of what I need to do. Not just with walking but in all aspects. This being the most relevant. I started out saying that walking will be my simple start at making attempts to do SOMETHING each day and also be consistent with something. In hopes that me doing it continuous for so long would make it a habit. I see how skinny people work out daily and truly enjoy it. As if its second nature and I wanna get like that. Why am I not like that. WHY AM I NOT SKINNY ALREADY! Dam.
Ive had those days where I didn’t wanna walk. I did. Ive had those days where I felt the excuses where actually valid. I still walked. Ive had people telling me that walking wasn’t the best start for me…that I should jump head first into doing it….their way. I still walked. I can be proud that I attempt to be strong and walk….but I know the downsides. Ive quit over and over and over again. I tell myself that doing the bare minimum (1 lap around the apts = about 1.5 times the size of the track around the football field) is worth it. I have psyched myself into believing that if I don’t wanna go and just do the minimum Im still doing something. I have to accept that its not. Its not a reason to stop…cause I do believe that doing something is better than nothing…but I cant expect great results with minimum work. Something has to give. Before I do.

or not to walk?....!

I know the reasons behind me doing this. I know the value and importance that this holds to me. I know that I will keep going. But thru all of that it SUCKS knowing that I already skipped days. Excuses or no excuses….I still skipped em. During my trip to Atlanta, I walked a little. 2 of the days I didn’t. Then once I got back I missed another. Including last night Ive missed a total of about 4 since I started at the end of May. Since my party at the end of last month Ive been hitting the minimum for most of the days and have not looked back. Why? Why am I treating this as if it needs minimum care? Whats wrong with me? Why do I have more down days with multiple excuses? Why do I have to talk myself into doing something that I clearly know, believe in, and even understand why I have to continue? Why?…..Why?……Why?! Im lacking physical motivation.