Feels weird trying to explain something so personal to people that will probably never understand. You probably don’t understand me…so I know my thoughts will confuse you. Hell…my thoughts confuse me!
Walking toward the crosswalk earlier all I could think was that I definitely need to make a list of all the things I need to help me with this. Better shoes, headphones, more workout clothes, etc. Well…better yet…I really shouldn’t be exercising until I actually get all the stuff I need. That’s the best way to do it. I don’t wanna be uncomfortable or not have all the necessities. If I’m gonna to do it.. I’m gonna do it right!
And just like that my journey would take detour. Eventually ending up in a pile of other failed actions due to notable excuses. I make sure that the reasoning is good enough and then I talk myself into believing it. I see now that the MENTAL SIDE OF THIS is gonna literally ‘weight’ me down.
Im still inspired. Just a little doubtful. Im also concerned. Some skinny folks walked past me today and had remarks and jokes. Nothing worth me commenting on with them. I think one of em called me a fat mr T. Another dude slowed his car down and yelled “let her walk with ya bro! make my girl walk, she needs to get out there with u!” as he pointed to the woman in the passenger seat. They drove off laffin it up. I feel like im walking down the street with a sign that says... FAT MAN WALKING! Stuff like that bothers me a little. I will leave it at that.
Im still in it. You would think its too early to give up. Lol. You would think.
this is crazy to me. actually the shoe fits so im wearin it, that would be the primary reason for my commenting... on anything.
ReplyDeleteanyhoot, this hit home. i mean, not only because like you, i've struggled wit weight issues for many years. all the years that i can remember.
like you mentioned the laughs and comments, some people would say, 'where they do that at'? to that i say, lets be realistic. to get back to my point, this is inspiring to me, bg. like, i've lost weight before, but its hard work. its dedication. its sacrificin, but obviously its not impossible.
i really dont know how serious you are as to losin weight, however...if you are really serious, i want to join the band wagon... we can make it interesting, fun, and challenging. im alllll for it. let me know!
Its a personal journey. I know its gonna be filled with ups and downs cause I see them already. Anything that will make it easier for me and someone else to cope with the craziness that goes along with it is a plus. Im open to suggestions on making it fun and challenging. To be honest...just the simple fact that someone reads it and can relate is motivation for atleast another day. Lets help eachother by making it Fun!
ReplyDeleteDo YOU B! Don't let ignorant insecure people get to you....Don't give up...Do this for you...because it will make you feel better. If you need a partner to walk wit you....I'm down. Keep ya head up B! :o) Tara Waldrep!
ReplyDeletelol, preciate it tara. we will see how it goes. and rest assured, u will be asked to walk with me. get those walkin' shoes ready. im probably gonna call on all my folks atleast one time or another. preciate the support!
ReplyDeleteman, forget those fools. Don't even look at them. Don't acknowledge they exist - if ya can't do that go walk at the mall with the old folks - they won't give u any shit. What we are doing is too important to let ignorant fools get in the way of your progress.
ReplyDeleteLove you for your honesty B.
ReplyDeleteyou know what Billy i can definitely understand where you are coming from. I have gained a few pounds over the years and as of monday i began working out, and let me tell you it is hard to follow through. like you i was making excuses, but now that i am actually doing it i already feel better. I say to hell with whatever those people have to say you are doing what you need to do for you and that is all that matters. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so keep up the good work Big Daddy, and don't get to small on us. LOL
ReplyDeleteyou know some people are wrapped in this world that is so confined that they dont see everyone for who they truly are. It bothers me that people are like that, but you can change them all. But what I can say...is your perseverance and your persistance will motivate anyone. Your character will rub off on them and help to make them better in life. See in life we are here to help uplift others, not be their stumbling block. I think if people see the Christ in us..the person who continues to be kind despite the idiocracy that left their mouth, then maybe that will rub off on them. wishful thinking I know. But I am proud of you. You should make a documentary. A Video blog....capturing moments. your motivational moments. your highs and your lows. This journey. So when you DO lose weight. you will have it as your testimony and maybe that video blog can inspire many others! Love ya - Angela Carter
ReplyDeleteWow Billy thanks for you candor on this issue. I have to agree with other posts. One might not be a bad idea to have others join you online since really you are not alone. I can believe that people can be that way since I happen to be very top heavy. The gawks and stares and comments people make forgetting that you are human yes I understand. I would join you if you did it. I could certainly stand to lose bout 30 good lbs maself.
ReplyDeleteKeep pushing and ignore fools that are so shallow and insecure they have to point out others. JERKS. DO YOU!
Queen City Camden